Healing the Soul
by fififolle
Summary: Charin’s staff causes an accident that leaves Rodney critically ill, but there’s something else going on... McKay/Weir. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.  
**Spoilers:**general Season 1, and 38 Minutes for some reason I've now forgotten.

**A/N:**Plot bunny up for adoption by **Purpleyin** at **McKay/Weir Central**, many thanks! Wonderful beta from **rodlox**.

**Summary:** Charin's staff causes an accident that leaves Rodney critically ill, but there's something else going on... McKay/Weir with mysterious Sheppard/Weir :)

* * *

**Chapter One**

"It is wonderful to see you, Charin." Teyla entered the tent and approached her friend.

"Teyla! You came back to us." She gripped the young Athosian woman by the shoulders with surprising strength. Her long grey-white hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and her sage_**-**_green robe hung loosely on her thin frame.

"I came back to visit with you, Charin. I do not intend to remain." Teyla looked Charin in the eye, then held her hand as they sat down together on the wooden bench that ran along the side of the tent.

Charin bowed her head, saying plainly, "You will not return and lead us?"

Teyla sighed. "No, Charin. My path lies with Dr Weir, and the others from Earth. We can defeat the Wraith, with the power of the City of the Ancestors." She forced a smile and continued brightly, "I am pleased to be here, Charin. Let me enjoy a few days among my own people in a spirit of happiness."

Charin tucked her walking stick beside her. "As you wish, my child. You have chosen your own destiny, and what time you spend with us is precious." Suddenly, she gave a sharp cough, and leaned heavily on the carved staff.

Teyla frowned. "Charin. Are you not well?" She put an arm around the old woman, and leaned close in concern.

Waving her off, Charin shook her head. "I am fine, do not fuss. Old as I am, I can still see through you. You are happy to be home." She looked at Teyla through clear, blue eyes. "Return to us, Teyla."

Teyla looked away, and then, swallowing hard and with a deep breath, she looked once more at Charin. "I cannot, Charin. But you are always in my thoughts."

They exchanged fond looks. Teyla was indeed happy to see her people again, but she had forged a strong bond with those in Atlantis. She would say the floating City was her home now... if she was asked.

Charin gave another small cough and rubbed a wizened hand over Teyla's arm. "Can I offer you some soup?"

Teyla grinned. "Of course. I could never refuse your soup, Charin." She watched as the old lady stood up slowly, and walked across to the stove, leaning on her staff with each step.

In the hazy sunlight streaming into the tent, Teyla could see light reflecting off small crystal panels embedded in Charin's staff. The opaque shapes seemed to glow in the morning light, and Teyla squinted at them, as if she was seeing them for the first time.

Charin fussed over the stove, pouring soup into bowls. Her staff was propped up near her, and Teyla found herself mesmerised by the carvings and the crystals.

"Charin…?"

"Yes, my child?"

"Your staff…? Where did it come from?"

Charin placed the bowls on a tray, and beckoned to Teyla to collect them. She then took her staff in her hand and used it to help her return to the bench, following Teyla.

"I have always had it. It belonged to my mother."

"I never truly noticed before - it has crystal pieces embedded into it."

"Yes," Charin nodded, and took a bowl of soup onto her lap. "It is a beautiful staff. No one else has one like it."

"What does it do?" Teyla lifted a spoonful of soup to her mouth.

Charin frowned. "I do not understand what you mean. It is my staff. I walk with it. I have needed it for some time. My knee… I cannot walk without it." The old lady's eyes narrowed as she watched Teyla's bowed head.

Teyla nodded and sipped her soup in silence for a moment, taking glances at the staff.

"Charin…?"

"Yes, my child?"

"Your staff… The crystals are like those I have seen on Atlantis. Smaller, of course. Were you aware of that?"

"The crystals do remind me of the keys on the pedestal near the Ring of the Ancestors. It is a beautiful staff. It was special to my mother, and now it is special to me." With gnarled fingers she stroked the pair of dull, opaque crystal shapes that adorned each side of the staff near the top. Carvings of Ancient writing flowed across the wooden surface, and spilled onto the crystals. She looked up and saw Teyla lost in concentration.

"What are you thinking, Teyla?"

Teyla paused, and then said, "I am thinking I have a friend who would very much like to see your staff."

**0o0o0**

"No, Rodney, you cannot just _'take her stick'_." Elizabeth smiled patiently.

Rodney pouted and leaned back in his chair. The senior staff were ranged around the conference table, discussing what Teyla had discovered on the Mainland.

Elizabeth continued, "Teyla, would it be acceptable to Charin if Dr McKay and Dr Zelenka studied the staff for a short while, at her convenience? She can be present if she wishes."

Teyla nodded. "I am sure she will be willing to let them look at it. As I said before, I do not know if the staff has any purpose or significance."

"Let us worry about that," Rodney said quickly. "I can't wait to see it."

"All right. Major Sheppard, you can take your team - and Dr Zelenka."

John nodded. "Fine by me."

**0o0o0**

Aiden hoisted the strap of the case further onto his shoulder. "You sure this is all you need, Doc?"

The Czech engineer smiled. "It is not too heavy for you, Lieutenant?"

Aiden narrowed his eyes. "No sir. Come on, let's not keep the Major waiting."

Radek smiled and followed the young lieutenant up the ramp of the jumper.

Rodney swivelled around in the co-pilot seat. "Ah, good. At last. Get your gear away so we can go." He folded his arms and watched the last two arrivals in the rear of the jumper.

"Peter suggested I brought one of the console crystals for comparison, Rodney." Radek came forward, looking around him slightly nervously, and sat down behind the Chief Scientist.

Rodney cocked his head to one side, "Yeah, OK. Good thinking. So, what do we really imagine here? A remote_**-**_control dialling device?"

The Czech pulled a face. "I simply cannot see how it could work at all without a power source. We will just have to see it for ourselves."

John Sheppard brought the jumper to life and it hovered gracefully up through the open roof of the bay. "Don't worry, you'll soon get your chance. Here we go."

The puddlejumper picked up speed as it cut through the blue sky, heading for the mainland. The short journey gave the two scientists enough time to come up with a good plan.

"And that's your plan?" Aiden sounded amused.

"Look," Rodney retorted, "letting the Major try and activate it is a very good plan."

"Nobody asked me," John complained. "What if it's dangerous?"

"Come on, Major. How dangerous can a woman's stick be?"

John raised an eyebrow at Rodney, and Teyla laughed.

"Point taken. But that's the plan." Rodney folded his arms.

Touching down on the outskirts of the village, the team exited the jumper, to be greeted by Halling.

The Athosian elder greeted Teyla warmly but cautiously; he made the traditional greeting, touching foreheads, but then asked her sombrely, "What is your intention with Charin?"

Teyla looked surprised, "I do not know what you mean, Halling. We wish to study her staff, to see if it holds some significance that we were not aware of. The Ancestors would wish it."

Halling looked suspiciously at her. "Charin would know if it held a significance. She does not."

"That is not true, Halling. Charin has agreed to let Dr McKay and Dr Zelenka study the staff, and we are going to her now." She bowed her head briefly, and walked past the tall man, her head held high.

Aiden grinned and followed her. John, bringing up the rear, acknowledged Halling with a curt nod as he passed him.

**0o0o0**

Aiden stood outside the tent on Sheppard's orders. It always paid to be careful.

Rodney tried to contain his enthusiasm as they participated in Charin's welcome of tea. Teyla and John both recognised that the old woman was biding her time in order to size up the new faces.

"What do you hope my staff can do, Dr McKay?" Her eyes were twinkling.

"Uh, well, we hope that it will give us some kind of tactical advantage that will help us against the Wraith. Maybe some kind of remote dial for the gate, or…"

"What will I use to walk with, if you take it away?" There was amusement in the old woman's voice.

"What? Oh. Well, I'm sure we can find you a really nice..."

"What if it was connected with my mother's role in the community?" Charin asked quietly.

Rodney blinked. "Your…? She…? Uh, what did she do, exactly?"

"She took away the darkness."

Rodney looked at Teyla, who shook her head, indicating this was not something she was aware of. "Right. And what would that be, exactly?"

Charin shrugged, and saw Teyla looking curiously at her. "I do not truly know. People would come and see her for advice. I was very young when she was… taken."

Rodney thought for a moment, then smiled. "Well, I'm sure the staff didn't have anything to do with your mother's… ah, special role. We'll be very careful, I promise."

John rolled his eyes, and sipped his tea. Rodney was acting very respectfully towards Charin in order to get his hands on the staff, and he found it amusing.

Charin told Teyla about recent happenings in the village, and then let Radek help her clear away the cups. Finally, she sat down on the long bench, and held out her staff to Radek.

"Dr Zelenka, perhaps you would like to see if my staff has any power left?"

Radek glanced at Rodney, whose mouth had dropped open, and accepted the staff from Charin, kneeling in front of her.

"Thank you, Charin. I would like that very much." He turned the staff over in his hands, looking carefully at the wood, the carvings and the crystals.

Rodney stood over his shoulder, running fingers over the surface. "The crystals look just like miniature diallers. There's only the two, like Teyla said."

Radek frowned. "Hmmm. The writing is unusual though. They are not gate symbols. I cannot… perhaps Dr Weir…"

"Yes, we need her to take a look at these. Let's take some pictures of that first." Rodney lifted his camera and they began to carefully record each side of the staff. It was rounded for the most part, then flattened out near the top, where the crystals and writings encircled it. The dark wood was more ornately carved at the top, with a random geometric pattern.

Rodney lowered the camera. "Any sign of a power source?"

"I think…" Radek lifted the staff, as if weighing it, "it feels odd, like it is not entirely wood. I believe there may have been a power source somewhere inside. Like that of a scanner, perhaps?"

Rodney nodded, "Major? If you would?"

John came closer. "Are you guys sure about this?"

Rodney took the staff from Radek and held it out. "Go on. If anyone can light it up, you can. I've not had any effect on it."

John looked at Charin, who was watching impassively. He took the staff, and admired the carvings and the crystals. "Nice stick, Charin," he smiled.

"Touch the crystals," Rodney said eagerly.

John held the staff with one hand and poked at a crystal with an index finger. It certainly didn't give under his touch like the DHD crystals. Nothing had happened. He took a thumb and pressed it onto the crystal. He felt a familiar sensation as the crystal glowed ever so weakly.

"Wow," breathed Rodney, "You did it."

"Yeah, but what did I do?"

Radek snapped his fingers, "Scanner." He hurried over to his kit bag.

"Let's see if the other one will light up." Rodney reached out a hand and pressed the crystal on the other side of the staff. He grinned as he saw the glow, just before the staff exploded.

_**TBC**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.  
**Spoilers:**general Season 1, and 38 Minutes for some reason I've now remembered ;)

**A/N:**Thanks to everyone who is reading! Hope you enjoy this bit :) Just what exactly has Charin's staff done...?

* * *

**Chapter Two**

John sat on the hard bench outside the infirmary. If he was honest, he didn't really feel like being here. He would really rather be in the mess, eating a huge sandwich… turkey maybe. He sighed. Something inside him told him that would look a little callous given the circumstances.

They didn't know what was wrong with Rodney, exactly. He wasn't in a coma;Carson said he was sure about that. He didn't sound sure, but that's what he said. Charin was at least out of danger. Her slice of flying debris to the head had lost her a fair amount of blood, and Carson was keeping her comfortable. She was sleeping most of the time. Not sedated, but when you are some indeterminate Athosian age, he guessed sleeping was a good way to recover.

So he knew he'd better wait here while Elizabeth checked on Rodney. Then he could listen to her tell him the latest news, and then he could feel a lot better about heading off to fill his grumbling stomach.

He studied the sling and bandage covering his left arm. That nurse had done a great job of it. Even if she had been a little rough it was nothing considering how little he'd been injured by the explosion. But losing the staff was a disaster, frankly. He scowled, fighting the anger. How many Ancient devices had they found outside Atlantis with so much promise? It might have been… useful! Today had been a complete wipeout.

The opening doors of the infirmary dragged him back to the present circumstances, and he felt an unfamiliar stab of… _something_, as an upset Elizabeth came out into the corridor. He got to his feet quickly.

"Elizabeth? Are you OK?"

She blinked, looking here and there along the floor, her arms changing position randomly until they settled at her sides. She cleared her throat, and caught his eye. "John. I'm… fine. Rodney is still unconscious. Carson says we just have to…" one arm freed itself and waved limply, "…wait."

John smiled. "Good. That's good. I mean, he's not worse or anything." He really didn't like the way Elizabeth was looking at him, a mixture of shock and disappointment. "I'm just saying, let's keep hopeful, OK?" He smiled, and was relieved to see that she finally seemed more relaxed.

He pointed with his good arm down the corridor. "I was just… I think I need to eat. Do you want to join me?" Usually he would offer out of courtesy. Now, outside this infirmary, with Rodney inside, it seemed to matter more.

First she glanced back at the door of the infirmary, but then she looked at him, and smiled, her face pale, her lips tight. "Thank you, John. I think I will."

As they made their way toward the mess, John kept glancing over at Elizabeth. She looked really pale, with that frown on her face, her eyes firmly fixed ahead and down. Her lips pressed together anxiously like that looked kinda pretty, and he wondered why he hadn't noticed that before.

Seating themselves at one of the tables, Elizabeth looked closely at John. "Are you all right, John?"

Actually, he felt a little headachy. "I'm fine. I just got a scratch. Nothing to worry about." He lifted his arm a fraction to demonstrate.

"Dr Zelenka was too shocked to begin the investigation. I sent Bates and Vargas to get started." She shut her eyes for a second, and then took another mouthful of food.

John couldn't believe he hadn't thought about an investigation! He had been too busy getting his arm done, and… "I'm sorry. I should have handled that." She had done _everything_.

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it. All of you were injured or in shock. I think Aiden taking charge probably prevented this from being a fatal incident. So far anyway." Her voice crumbled to a whisper.

"Hey," he touched her arm. "Rodney will be OK. He's the most stubborn astrophysicist I know."

She looked into his smiling face. "Thanks, John. This is the worst thing that has happened since you were all stuck in the gate."

"And I was fine."

She smiled. "Yes, you were. Thankfully."

"There. And Rodney will be just fine. I know it." Suddenly it seemed really important to stop Elizabeth from worrying.

**0o0o0**

Elizabeth sighed, looking at the faces around the conference table. "And your latest update on Rodney's condition, Dr Beckett?"

Carson gulped, and shuffled the papers in front of him. "Well… he's unconscious. But he isn't in a coma. He has intermittent periods of REM sleep, like… dreaming. But we cannot rouse him, and I'm afraid to give him anything to bring him round artificially, not until we know more about the device."

Elizabeth cocked her head in frustration. "And what precisely do we know about the device? Dr Zelenka?"

The Czech flustered a little. "We have visual records, some power readings, and the local gossip. No purpose, no known effects, just_… poof._ That is all." Having made a little explosive gesture with his hands, he lowered them, palms open in resignation.

"So what are we saying, here?" Elizabeth asked, steepling her fingers carefully. "It just overloaded?"

Radek cleared his throat nervously. "It is possible that Rodney's artificially manipulated gene caused something in the staff to malfunction." He glanced at Carson, who shrugged, "Or maybe it was just very old, and couldn't handle two operators."

"Two operators?" Elizabeth frowned.

Vargas, the Spanish engineer, spoke up. "Both Major Sheppard and Dr McKay were holding the staff when it exploded. That seems to have been the trigger for the explosion."

Elizabeth nodded and turned to her neighbour. "Carson?"

The doctor let out a breath. "It doesn't seem possible that Rodney's gene would make a thing like this happen. It ought to be identical. The strength isn't as good as the Major's, but the essential elements are the same. I suspect the two of them holding the thing was too much for it. We've just no way of knowing. I'm sorry," finishing with a shrug.

Elizabeth tucked her chin a little closer to her chest, and pursed her lips. "Do we have anything at all that will help Rodney?"

The blank faces around the room told her more than she wanted to know.

"All right. Dr Zelenka, go over the visual records again. Come up with some theories. Major Sheppard, Teyla, I want Charin questioned as soon as she is fit. Dr Beckett, we need to know more about Rodney's condition. Do whatever tests you can, in case you…" she blinked, suddenly uncertain, "…in case you missed anything." Her voice dropped to a mere whisper, "Dismissed." She raised her chin defiantly, but those present glanced anxiously around, aware of their leader's fragile state, before rising from the table and leaving quietly. All except John.

She was staring into space, still sitting at the conference table as he approached. "Elizabeth?"

She shook herself. "Sorry, yes John, what can I do for you?"

He eased himself into the chair beside her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She looked at him, puzzled. "Talk…? About what?"

John looked uncomfortable, glancing away. "This… Rodney being hurt… We have no idea… Look, I just… I know you're worried. What's going on is really weird, and if there's anything I can do…?"

She hesitated, then sighed, and leaned towards him. "Thanks, John. That means a lot. I'm just…" she paused, then blinked. "What if we lose him? I don't think Atlantis…"

John reached over and touched her hand. His eyes widened, the action surprising him as much as it did her. "We won't lose him. Okay?" He pulled his hand away, getting up, and backing out of the room. "I'll just… Teyla will be waiting… I'll see you later, probably…" With a final confused wave, he hurried from the room.

**0o0o0**

"Here's the last of the pieces, Doc." Bates dumped the crate on the lab bench.

Radek growled at him. "Not there! There are sensitive pieces of equipment nearby." The Czech scientist retrieved his mug from near the crate and held it protectively. "And coffee."

Bates grinned. "Sorry, Dr Zelenka. Anything else I can do?"

"No, thank you." Radek shook his head and sighed. "I hope we can find something from the debris or the pictures to help Dr McKay. What has happened is most terrible."

"You're telling me, Doc." Bates nodded in agreement. "You could have all been blown to pieces. Sheppard has been acting real weird ever since. I think he's taking it personally."

Radek frowned. "He seemed fine to me this morning at the briefing. Do you think he blames himself?"

Bates shrugged. "I don't know. I just get the sense he got a real shock, that's all. He almost lost someone, that can be enough. I guess I'm trained to pick up on things like that, Doc. We can't let someone stay in command if they can't handle these situations."

Radek took a long look at Bates, then nodded, and turned back to his work as the Marine left the lab.

**0o0o0**

The balcony door slid open and John stepped through. Elizabeth was there, leaning against the railings, breathing deeply the warm afternoon air. She turned as he approached, and they both smiled in greeting.

"Carson says Rodney is no different," John began, standing by her side.

"I know. I sat with Rodney most of the morning," Elizabeth replied quietly.

They stood in silence for a while, watching the waves gently roll up to the city. Elizabeth seemed shrouded in melancholy.

After a few minutes, John began to take worried glances at Elizabeth and finally he could no longer resist the instinct he felt. He took a step closer and put his arm around her shoulder.

"It'll be okay, I promise," he whispered.

Looking up at him, she blinked, forcing a smile. "Thank you, John." It seemed natural to slip into his embrace.

Feeling his pulse race, John seemed unable to stop himself from leaning down and leaning his head on hers.

"John..." she murmured, feeling confusion.

"I'll make it okay," he breathed, and held her close.

_**TBC**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.

**Spoilers:** general Season 1.

**A/N:**I love all the characters, you know that. This fic will not bash John, I promise. Whump, a little, maybe... Also, any other ship you may see here is nothing to do with me...

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Kate looked steadily at Elizabeth.

Elizabeth cradled her coffee, forcing a smile. The sun shone in through the large windows, bathing them both in an orange, warm glow.

"You don't have to look 'together' for me," Kate said quietly, from her comfortable position in the chair.

Elizabeth waved a hand airily. "I don't know what you mean."

Kate continued to smile benignly. "Elizabeth. We have coffee every Monday. Every Atlantis Monday. You smile. You laugh. You are optimistic, and always have a plan. Today… today your Chief of Science is lying in the Infirmary, and your smile does not fool me. So… where is your optimism today?"

Elizabeth always listened carefully to Kate's words. As ever, they were plain and easy to follow. Sometimes they resonated, and sometimes the words of the psychologist seemed like another language - one she didn't know, that is. Today… today they had some resonance, but Kate could never have guessed at what was really causing Elizabeth her anguish.

"Kate… I truly believe Rodney will be fine. Don't ask me how I know. I just do." She sipped her coffee, staring out at the ocean.

It took Kate a good minute to respond. "There's something else then?" She was a little confused. What could unsettle Elizabeth more than knowing Rodney was unconscious in the Infirmary?

Elizabeth's eyes settled on her blonde friend. She studied her face, wondering whether to tell her.

Kate frowned. "Please, Elizabeth. I think this is serious. You should tell me."

It was what the leader of Atlantis knew already. If she didn't tell someone, she was going to go crazy. "It's John."

Kate shook her head a little. "John? Major Sheppard?"

She nodded. "Yes. John Sheppard. I… He… We…" She stopped. She looked down into her coffee. "Kate? Do you think he might be attracted to me?"

Kate almost spilled her own coffee. This was not something she had expected. She thought rapidly. "Do _you_ think he might be attracted to you?"

Elizabeth nodded. "This past day or two… there's been… _something_. I don't know. Whenever he's there, I feel… it's that chemistry thing, you know? That sounds really lame doesn't it? It's just, with Rodney in danger, you'd think the last thing I would be doing is falling for my senior military officer. I don't want this to happen, I…" She shook her head, sipping her coffee. "What am I going to do, Kate?"

It certainly seemed out of character. "Has John said anything to you?"

Elizabeth gave a hollow laugh. "No. It's been so long since I started something with anyone, but I know he can feel it too. It's… I think it's surprising us both, if I'm honest. We don't have time for this. What am I going to do, Kate?" Her eyes pleaded with her friend.

Kate smiled, automatically. Her mind had come up with a theory that scared her half to death, and she needed to speak to someone before she said anything to the woman in front of her. "Elizabeth. You're right. Now is probably not a good time to start anything with Major Sheppard. There's no need to rush into anything that might become complicated. If it's meant to be, it will happen in good time. Just… don't rush into anything, and at least wait until the current crisis is over." She smiled again, broadly.

Elizabeth nodded, and finished her coffee. "You're right, Kate. I don't want to rush anything. Focus on the job for now." She stood up. "Thanks. Thanks for listening. I need to get back. Let's have dinner one night this week, if you can?"

"Of course." Kate stood and walked Elizabeth to the door, then watching as she headed with purpose down the corridor. As the door slid shut, Kate went to a nearby table and put her radio to her ear.

"Dr Zelenka? This is Dr Heightmeyer. Can I speak with you, please? Yes, here. Thank you. And please, tell no one. No one at all." She put the radio back on the table, and folded her arms across her chest, deep in thought.

**0o0o0**

Radek hurried from his lab and headed towards Kate Heightmeyer's office. Passing below the control room, he nodded at Elizabeth and John who were coming towards him.

Elizabeth acknowledged him. "Dr Zelenka. Any progress?"

"Dr Weir. I am in the progress of examining all photographic evidence. I…" Radek cocked his head, looking at his two colleagues, and frowned. "Major Sheppard, why are you standing like that?"

John glanced around him. He was stood to one side of Elizabeth, just behind her, his hands clasped behind his back. "Like what?" he asked, confused.

Radek gestured, "Like… that. It looks…" he shook his head. "Sorry, ignore me, my brain is addled with too many theories." He nodded at them both and hurried away down the stairs past the Stargate.

Elizabeth and John looked at each other and just shrugged.

**0o0o0**

The Czech engineer wrung his hands nervously as he entered Dr Heightmeyer's office. "You wanted to see me, Dr Heightmeyer?"

She smiled fondly at him. "Yes. And it's Kate. Please, sit down. I think I need your opinion on something."

He sighed. "I can't think what I could possibly…"

"Radek. Would you say Dr Weir and Dr McKay were close?" she interrupted.

He frowned, shifting on his chair. "Close? I would say they are friends, yes." He eyed her warily.

"With potential for something more, would you say? A relationship?"

"Dr Heightmeyer!" Radek exclaimed. "I cannot possibly comment!"

She rolled her eyes. "Radek. Everything said in this room is completely confidential. Just tell me what you think. Please. It might help Rodney."

He looked at her, thinking hard. "What do you mean?"

She blinked. "What if…? What if the device transferred emotions from one person to another?"

He ran a hand through his hair, his mind racing. "Tell me more." He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

She licked her lips, and took a deep breath. "Radek. Is it possible that Rodney's strong feelings for Elizabeth could have transferred to Major Sheppard through the device?"

Radek couldn't help but smirk a little, nodding. "That would be most interesting. Rodney most definitely… I believe those feelings could be quite strong."

"I knew it!" she cried. "I just… wondered if you agreed." She smiled. "Usually, I'm the last person to implicate alien technology as a cause for emotional changes, but in this case, I think it might be the most logical explanation."

Radek nodded. "The question is, what do we do now? How does that help us?"

Kate leaned forward and grasped Radek's hand. "That, Radek, is your department."

"Humph," Radek growled, "and have you explained your little theory to Dr Weir?"

Kate looked uncomfortable. "Not yet," she sighed. "I guess that's my department."

Radek grinned, and patted her hand.

**_TBC_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.

**Spoilers:**general Season 1

**A/N:**Even if they think they know what is going on, how are they going to fix things? Thanks to everyone reading and leaving the nice feedback. 

* * *

**Chapter Four**

Kate spotted John at a crossroad in the corridors, and called out to him. "Major Sheppard? Can I speak to you for a moment?" 

John stopped in his tracks, and smiled cautiously at her. "Sure, Doc. What can I do for you?" His face took on an anxious look.

Kate saw his reaction to her, and knew her hunch could well be right. John Sheppard was not usually so easy to read.

"Don't worry, Major. I just thought it might be good for us to get together and discuss what happened on the mainland. Why don't you come over to my office after lunch?"

John began to look distinctly uneasy. "Uh, sure. Fine. I'll do that."

Kate was more than worried now. Given John's reaction, waiting might not be such a good idea. "Actually, Major, I wonder if it might be wise to get started right away. Why don't we get some lunch to take with us and go over there now?"

Unlike Rodney, John rarely spent time in her office, and when he did he wasn't unhappy to be there, whereas Rodney tended to bemoan the fact, even though it was often at his own behest. Rodney could vent his own feelings, and more, in great detail, but John had never let her past the first layer. She had a feeling this was going to be an interesting session.

John looked confused. "You know what, Doc, that might be a good idea."

As they went to the counters in the mess hall, John's nervousness and focus on Kate's company drew a few looks. Kate tried her best to be reassuring, brightly enquiring about how his arm was healing, and praising Aiden's handling of the situation. John continued to be distracted, and Kate was glad when they finally got to her office.

They sat opposite each other, trays in front of them, and John gripped his cup tightly, leaning forward towards her.

"I don't usually get so freaked out when a mission goes wrong," he said quietly, looking down into his drink.

"Rodney was seriously injured, and Charin will take time to recover. I think your reaction is understandable," Kate said plainly, waiting for a way to air her concerns.

John frowned. "Yeah, well, I guess. But… I feel… a little out of control, might be the best way to describe it. And it seems to be getting worse."

"Are you saying you don't feel like yourself?"

John nodded slowly, concentrating on his cup again. "Yeah. It does feel like that. I've done some… crazy things in the last couple of days that I'd never think I would do." He looked up at her, smirking. "I must be pretty freaked out."

Kate smiled at him, she couldn't help it. But really, it was far from a laughing matter. "What kind of things, John?"

He looked out the window. He paused, as if contemplating whether to admit it. Then he gave a short, hollow laugh. "Actually, I feel like hitting on Elizabeth." He turned, and stared at her. "What's_ that_ about?"

"And you wouldn't have done that a few weeks ago?"

"Don't get me wrong, Doc. Dr Weir is a great woman. Smart, and pretty. When we first met, I wondered if maybe she was attracted to me, even. But we were always meant to be just friends, believe me."

Kate nodded. "Go on."

"These past couple of days, it's like I can't help myself. She looks amazing. Every time I see her I want to… I dunno, kiss her or something. It's really weird." He looked a little worried, but then grinned. "But hey, why not?"

Kate shut her eyes, trying to focus on what to say. _How much_ to say.

"Major Sheppard. John. I have a theory. I want you to listen to me, and tell me if you think I might be right. It has to do with Charin's staff, Rodney's condition, and how you've been feeling."

"The staff?"

"Yes. I believe you also have been affected by activating the staff, and not just the injury to your arm. Does it seem possible that you have been affected emotionally?"

John took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "That would explain a few things. But why? And how?"

"I also believe that the emotions you are feeling are somehow Rodney's feelings."

John's eyes widened in shock and surprise.

"Do you think his emotions have been transferred to you, John?"

John rubbed his face, and stared out the window. "That's some theory, Doc."

"Yes it is. How do you feel about it?"

He shrugged. "Rodney always kept pretty tight-lipped about how he feels about Elizabeth. But he's easy to see through. And I wouldn't like to live like this permanently, that's for sure, with _his_ emotions. Everyone is annoying me, except her. I think I could go nuts."

Kate smiled. "I hope we can do something about it. Dr Zelenka, Dr Beckett and I will do what we can. I wish we knew more about what we are dealing with, so I could give you some answers."

John's face hardened in determination. "Yeah, well, I know someone who might know what we're dealing with."

"Who?"

"Charin. I'm going to see her right now."

Kate reached out a restraining hand. "I'll go and get Dr Zelenka, and we will all go and see her. When she wakes up, we can ask her what she knows."

John nodded. "And Elizabeth. Elizabeth should be there."

Kate felt fear as she heard his anxious tone. They needed to do something, or Rodney might not be the only serious casualty. "Yes, John, we'll ask Elizabeth."

**0o0o0**

The old woman moaned slightly, and turned her head. By Charin's bed, Teyla sat upright, and took the frail hand in hers.

"Charin? Can you hear me?" Teyla leaned forward expectantly, gently squeezing the old woman's hand.

Charin's eyes fluttered open, and she took a deep waking breath. "Teyla." She smiled. "Thank you for staying with me."

"It is the least I can do. Do you remember what happened? You were hurt."

Charin shook her head. "Just a small wound. Dr Beckett healed me well." She blinked, and her voice grew serious. "How is Dr McKay?"

At that moment, John appeared, his head around the curtain, his eyes narrowed.

"Charin. Dr McKay isn't waking up. Now we don't know of a reason why that is. We were hoping you might know."

Teyla frowned at John, but found herself horrified to see Charin nodding her head. "Charin?"

John sat down next to Teyla, leaning forward expectantly.

"I didn't know anyone would be hurt. I just wanted to see if it still worked." She looked away.

Sheppard's eyes were bulging, and he began to stand up. "You _knew_?"

Charin shook her head, and Teyla held out a placating arm towards John. "Let her speak, Major Sheppard."

Seething, John sat back a little, staring at the old woman.

Charin pushed herself into a sitting position, with Teyla's help. Once she was comfortable, she looked hard at John. "I don't know anything with any certainty, Major. I fear even now I can be of no help to Dr McKay. But to say I know nothing would be a lie."

"Then you better 'fess up, lady," John growled.

Teyla interjected, "Wait! Perhaps Dr Zelenka needs to hear this!"

John jerked his thumb towards the curtain. "Don't worry, he's here. So is Kate Heightmeyer and Elizabeth. We thought you might have something to tell us all, Charin."

"Let them come here." The old woman bowed her head. "I should not have let you use it," she sighed.

John got up and drew back the curtain, beckoning a waiting Kate and the others. He then sat back down, and pulled his chair a little closer. "What did the staff do, Charin?"

Teyla helped Charin adjust her cushions, as Kate, Radek, Carson and Elizabeth settled themselves, standing near her bed.

Charin looked around at them all, and began her story. "My mother was known as a Counsellor. People would go to her when they were saddened or upset. Perhaps when something had happened to them that left them in distress. Sometimes she would see families together. I did not understand it when I was small. I just knew that sad people came to her, and they left happier."

Elizabeth exchanged a look with Kate, who smiled, and shrugged.

"After she had died, my father gave me the staff. I did not know what it did, and he never told me. But one of my uncles told me about it once, but I do not know if he told me the truth. I never really believed much of what he said, but perhaps in this he was correct."

"What did he say?" John asked impatiently.

Charin took a sip of water offered to her by Teyla before continuing. "My uncle told me that my mother had a gift for feelings. She could command them, control them, change them. It was considered special, but some were afraid of it. He told me that the staff would draw harmful emotions from a person, and my mother would take them into herself, where she would destroy them. It does not make sense. My uncle told me that my mother died because of the strain it brought upon her, and that is why my father did not wish me to know about the staff."

Teyla held Charin's hand. "I did not know your mother was not taken by the Wraith. Did your father think you had the gift? You seem like a Counsellor to me, even without the staff."

Charin smiled. "We will never know, my child. My uncle told me that they thought it was a Wraith device, sucking emotion from you. Most people were afraid."

Zelenka muttered, "It did not seem Wraith-like in any way. It was an Ancient device."

Teyla held Charin's hand, and said gently, "How did your mother come to have an Ancient device, Charin?"

The old woman looked away, but Teyla felt the grip on her hand strengthen. "My uncle once said something else, something I tried to forget. He said that she was not my mother at all. Perhaps... perhaps she was not. I did not even see her when she died. My father told me she was gone, and I never saw her again. Now I do not know what to think, and I do not want to think about it."

Teyla took a deep breath. "Oh, Charin." The mystery surrounding Charin's mother was more than just about an old staff.

John clenched his fists. "But what do we do now, Charin?" he asked, exasperated. "How do we get Rodney back? And how do I get Rodney's emotions out of me?"

Elizabeth, Teyla and Carson's mouths dropped open. This was the first time they had heard this theory, and they were stunned.

"What?" cried Elizabeth.

"Yeah, that's right," John answered. "That staff sucked emotions out of Rodney and dumped them in me. And I want them out."

Charin was clearly upset. "I am sorry, Major. I never thought it would happen. If what you say is true, then you must control those emotions for Dr McKay."

"What?" sputtered John.

"The staff drew them from Dr McKay because they were distressing him in some way. That is why they have been transferred to you. You must destroy them."

Radek stepped forward. "No, wait, that is not right."

Everyone turned to look at him.

He blinked, adjusting his glasses. "We have been translating the carvings and symbols on the staff. There is definitely a removal and a replacing that is described. That must mean the emotions. They are removed, but then they are put back." He shook his head. "I am sorry, I do not know how, or why. Yet."

Charin looked thoughtful. "I do not think my uncle knew everything about the staff. What he said always seemed half-truth. I wonder if my... mother... used the staff to feel the emotions of the other person, then was able to put them back."

Kate had been listening carefully, but said in frustration, "We still don't know what the staff did or how we can help Rodney or John."

"Maybe we do," said Carson quietly. "Kate, does that not sound much as you would help someone? Draw out their feelings, see things in a different way, then send them away with a clearer mind?"

Kate smiled wryly. "You flatter me, Carson. In an ideal world, yes."

"Maybe that's what the staff did. It created the perfect Counsellor. All we need to do is sort out what John's got inside him, and find a way to put it back in Rodney."

John shook his head, "Ain't gonna happen, Doc."

Zelenka wagged a thoughtful finger. "Actually, Major, one inscription may hold the key. We may not need the staff to return the emotions. All we might need is the fragments of crystal. They could still work, even though they are broken."

John sighed. "I wasn't thinking about the staff," he muttered quietly.

Elizabeth clapped her hands. "All right. Let's get to work. Dr Zelenka, I believe you can complete the work on the translations, and prepare the crystals, but let me know if your team needs my help. Kate, you work with the Major on those emotions, whatever they are. Everyone report to me in… say, two hours?"

Radek and Kate nodded. John put his head in his hands.

As they left the infirmary, John pulled Kate to one side. "Listen. You know as well as I do exactly which emotions I got dumped with. How are we supposed to resolve it?"

Kate smiled sweetly. "As soon as we get to my office, I'm going to ask Elizabeth to join us."

"Oh, great. I can't wait." He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

_**TBC**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.

**Spoilers:** general Season 1

**A/N:** Thanks so much everyone following the story and giving me feedback! It's a little more angsty here. And maybe they don't have as much time as they think...

* * *

**Chapter Five**

Elizabeth stared at John."You mean… it's _Rodney's_ feelings I'm sensing in you?"

John blushed. "It has to be. Not that I'm not attracted to you, Elizabeth, but… this is something different."

Elizabeth shut her eyes, and leaned her forehead on a finger and thumb. "I feel so stupid."

Kate touched her knee. "Don't, Elizabeth. You weren't to know. Neither was John."

"The question is," said John, looking at Elizabeth, "how come you and Rodney aren't together already? Didn't you ever sense this from him?"

"Of course I have!" she snapped. "But it's inappropriate! I'm in charge, and…" she trailed off, frustrated.There was nothing more to say given that she had let John hold her as she had, in her hour of need.

"We need to find some way of resolving it," Kate said gently, "if Charin is to be believed."

Throwing her hands open, Elizabeth cried, "What do you want me to do? Kiss the sleeping prince?"

John smirked, but Kate saw this was no time for mockery. "Elizabeth. No one is asking you to do something you don't want to do. But we need to talk about how you feel about Rodney, and how we can resolve this tension between you. The staff took those feelings out of him for a reason. And perhaps Rodney needs them back."

Elizabeth stood up and began pacing, as John and Kate watched her. "He knows there can't be anything between us. I couldn't allow it." She seemed to be talking to herself, more than to them. "I should never have even said those things, it probably gave him some sort of false hope. We try not to, I swear. But he's so… sometimes I just can't help…" she spun around, and pointed at John. "You! You should be able to give me ten good reasons to keep away from Rodney."

John smiled, confused. "Sure, I could give you twenty, but it won't change the way you feel." He shrugged.

"Kate!" Elizabeth faced her. "Rodney and I simply cannot be together. End of story."

Kate leaned forward. "You're telling us you are attracted to him, but feel it would be inappropriate to pursue the relationship, given your position of leadership."

"No! I'm not _attracted_ to him!" Elizabeth almost shouted. "I'm in _love_ with him!"

Kate's eyes opened wide, but it was John who spoke, almost a whisper, "He loves you too."

They both stared at him. "What?"

John shrugged. "I just know. I probably knew before, if you'd asked, but now I've got this… stuff… inside me, I can really feel it. He worships the ground you walk on, and he'd die for you. He loves you. He… he needs you. That's why... that's why I had to do what I did." The effort of the little speech made John take a deep breath, and he put his head in his hands.

Elizabeth sank into her chair, stunned.

"I can see why this is not good for either of you," Kate began. "How long have you felt this way about Rodney?"

Elizabeth took a moment to reply. "A few months maybe. I mean, it was there from the start, but I was leaving Simon, and we've been busy enough to ignore it most of the time. It's hard, but I have to do the right thing." Her voice had dropped to a murmur.

"And you say you've discussed it?"

"Well… about a week ago. It was a mistake, I know, I suggested we have dinner sometime, as friends, because I want to spend time with him, even if we can't… I made it clear it was not a date. I think maybe that confused things a little."

John's face suddenly screwed up in pain, and he cried out, Kate and Elizabeth turning quickly to see him fall to the floor.

"John!" Kate and Elizabeth hurried to kneel by him. "John, are you all right?"

"I don't know what's going on," John ground out in pain, clutching at his chest, "but that _really_ hurt. Can we go and put this back in Rodney so he can be the one to suffer?"

Elizabeth held back tears as they helped John to sit back up. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe this is all happening. It can't be my fault." 

As John caught his breath, Kate took Elizabeth's hand. "Elizabeth. How would you feel if you decided the best course of action would be to act upon your love for Rodney, and let the two of us help you find ways to keep your leadership impartial and objective?"

Elizabeth suddenly looked very scared, and glanced with worry at John, who looked equally terrified. "I feel nervous about that course of action. I have a lot of feelings that have been kept at bay for some time. I don't want to lose control…"

John was breathing hard, pressing one hand against his chest. "You _can_ do it…"

Kate, trying hard not to lose focus, nodded at Elizabeth. "And if it's what you want…"

Elizabeth blinked, a shaky hand brushing away a strand of hair. "I can't always have what I want. It's part of being a negotiator."

"Is your career more important than love?" Kate knew she had to hit hard to break Elizabeth. She was so strong.

Elizabeth looked away. "It was. Once." She thought of Simon, how she'd chosen to leave him.

John interrupted, a thought suddenly striking him, "I could have sworn you would have let me kiss you yesterday. How come?"

Elizabeth looked up at him, a sadness in her eyes. "Yes, John, perhaps I would have. You and I… we could have had some fun, once upon a time. It wouldn't have been serious, would it?"

John screwed his face up, "Nah, I guess you're right. Rodney made me, anyway. I think." He shrugged, smiling.

Elizabeth smiled at him, and nodded.

They all heard their radios come to life, and Radek's voice came through. "The translations are complete and the crystals are ready. My team is heading for the infirmary now. I know we are ahead of schedule, but I thought it best to move as fast as we can."

Kate activated her microphone, "Agreed, Dr Zelenka. We're on our way." She turned to Elizabeth. "Is that all right with you, Elizabeth?"

She nodded, "Yes, of course. I'll do whatever is necessary to help Rodney, and John. But I can't deny we don't have some issues to resolve."

"I can help if you want," Kate offered.

Elizabeth just acknowledged her with a nod, and they all rose and headed out.

_**TBC**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.

**Spoilers:**general Season 1

**A/N:**I hope you enjoy the vague attempt to tie up the loose ends LOL. Many thanks once again to Purpleyin for a brilliant idea, hope I did it justice, and rodlox for a fine beta. Thanks everyone for reading :)

* * *

**Chapter Six**

Radek looked to Kate as everyone entered the infirmary. She nodded to him, and he nodded back.

Clearing his throat, Radek addressed everyone assembled around Rodney's bed, to an accompaniment of regular bleeping from the monitors. "We have ascertained that if the two operators hold a crystal, even part of one, we believe the transfer will be reversed. This does, however, appear to be dependent upon some degree of resolution as regards the emotions." He coughed, apologetically, his eyes firmly fixed on the crystal in his hands.

John took a step forward. He looked pale. "I think we can give it a go. We can try, anyway." He moved next to Radek, who handed him the crystal.

Carson was standing on the other side of the bed. "We can only try."

John fingered the crystal in one hand, and sighed. He leaned forward, taking Rodney's limp hand in his other.

"Wait!" Elizabeth cried, and all eyes were on her. She moved over to John, and with a look to him, took Rodney's hand in her own, opening it gently, supporting it palm up. "We're ready," she declared.

John gave her one of his encouraging lop-sided smiles, and pressed the piece of crystal into Rodney's hand, covering it with his.

The whole room seemed to hold its breath as everyone stared at the clasped hands, as if suspended above Rodney's prone form.

Suddenly John hissed, as if feeling pain. Everyone could see their hands shake. Elizabeth seemed to be trembling from head to toe.

The crystal was beginning to glow, and Radek held his breath. "It's working," he breathed, and his wide eyes looked to Kate. She was frowning, lips pursed, and she glanced at Radek with worry in her eyes.

Rodney moaned, moving a fraction. Carson checked the monitors anxiously.

Kate saw the single tear roll down Elizabeth's cheek, her eyes shut fast.

"Yessss," John hissed, barely audible to those around about. "It's okay, Rodney…"

Rodney started to take stuttering, deep breaths, and his eyeballs could be seen moving under the lids.

Elizabeth's face slowly creased, every muscle tensing and straining. "I don't know how…" she faintly murmured.

"You have to," John ground out. "Just…"

With a shout, Rodney gasped, his eyes flying open, panting hard and fast. "Wha…?"

Carson moved to lean over Rodney, but Elizabeth was faster. She was still holding his hand, but it was now tucked to his chest as she stroked it, mumbling, "I will, Rodney. We will. It's okay, we'll be okay…" It was as if she was now completely oblivious to the other occupants of the room.

John stood, staring at the crystal in his hand, looking faintly blank. Teyla touched him on the shoulder, and he took a deep breath.

Rodney was lying there, blinking up at Elizabeth. "I'm sorry, 'Lizabeth…," he slurred, bringing his other hand up to cover hers. They stayed like that, their hands entwined, as they talked quiet, comforting reassurances.

Carson looked on nervously. Kate watched Elizabeth and Rodney for a moment, then moved to Radek's side. She touched his arm, and they exchanged satisfied smiles.

John handed Radek the piece of crystal and patted him on the back. "Well done, docs. Mission accomplished. I'm going to sleep for a week." He turned to Kate. "Don't ask me to do anything like that ever, ever again." He shook his head, and left the infirmary. Carson looked for a moment as if he might call John back, to check him over, but Kate shook her head.

"I think we'll find that John is back to normal now," she told him. "I'll see him later, make sure he's okay. But I think we can all leave, and let Elizabeth and Rodney work things out in private for now."

Radek nodded, eager to leave. "I think that is a very good idea."

"I'll call if I need you back," Carson concurred, and shooed everyone except Elizabeth out of the infirmary.

**0o0o0**

Rodney was sitting up, propped with pillows in the infirmary bed. "Carson says I'll need to get back on my feet slowly – I can't believe I've been out for _days_."

Elizabeth rubbed his hand between her fingers. "I had this feeling that you were going to be okay, or I would have gone crazy."

"And is it true?" Rodney asked quietly, "Sheppard really had my feelings inside him? Because that is so gross." He looked away.

She sighed. "Don't be silly, Rodney. You'll have to thank him later, we couldn't have brought you back without him. He helped me to see…" She paused.

He looked at her. "See what?"

"This," she gestured. "Us. I would never have contemplated it before."

Rodney winced, as if in pain. He whispered, "It was making me crazy, I swear. Knowing we… and knowing you would never…" he took a deep breath, "I tried to ignore it, but it was killing me."

Elizabeth held her tongue, watching him. She'd never seen this side of Rodney before. So open, honest, frail. How long had she let his mask of indifference justify her denial? "I'm sorry, Rodney. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to stay… impartial." She gripped his hand tightly. That problem still hadn't gone away, after all.

He shrugged. "Well, thank you for saving me. Also, that's the last time I touch something without knowing what it does."

She raised an eyebrow sceptically.

"Well, for a while anyway," he mumbled, and carefully took his hand away. "You don't have to do this, Elizabeth," he said sadly.

A feeling of panic rose in her chest. It had taken so much for her to admit she loved him, had to virtually display it in front of everyone in order to save him, and now he was offering her the option of returning to their frozen impasse?

"Rodney…" she said shakily, "I couldn't do that - go back to how we were. It almost _did _kill you, for all we know, and now that I've had to face how I feel…" she took his hand back in hers. "Will you give me a chance? How about… dinner?"

Looking quite pale and scared, Rodney chuckled. "You're asking me on a date?"

She smiled. "I suppose so. What do you say?"

He pouted, pretending to think hard. "Uh… will there be blue jello?"

Elizabeth gasped. "Rodney! You know supplies are on a strict rotational…" She saw his unimpressed, teasing, look. "Okay! I'll see what I can do." She folded her arms and huffed. "I can't believe you're doing this. Making me practically _beg_!"

He smirked. "You won't regret it. We're going to be _amazing_!" He took a long look, his eyes sweeping over her. His hand reached out to her. "Come here."

Elizabeth took a deep breath. This was it. _The_ moment. The point beyond which there may be no return. She offered him her hand, and he pulled her towards him, his other hand reaching around so he could guide her. She let herself lean across, knowing that she wanted more than anything in the whole universe to let him kiss her.

He drew her close enough so that he could touch his lips to hers - a soft, tender meeting. "I'll be good to you, I promise," he breathed.

**0o0o0**

"'Lizbeth, have you seen my black shirt?" shouted Rodney, throwing various items of clothing out of the closet. "Aiee!" he yipped, as warm arms took him by surprise.

Wrapping herself around his naked torso, Elizabeth murmured into his ear. "I haven't seen it since I took it off you on the balcony three days ago…"

Turning around so he could return the embrace, he groaned in despair. "Oh great, what if it fell to its demise when we were otherwise occupied?"

She smiled at his melodrama. "Oh Rodney, that's what I love about you." She kissed his shoulder. "You see everything so clearly." Her laugh was as warm as her skin on his.

His retort rumbled as he kissed her hair. "I saw clearly how I felt about you." He crushed her gently to him. Releasing her, he kissed her forehead. "How are you feeling about us now?"

She tipped her head up and pecked him quickly. "Good," she said quietly. "It's not turned out to be the strain on my leadership that I'd worried about, and I feel…" she smiled happily, "I feel complete."

"Mmmm, me too," echoed Rodney, and then paused, frowning. "I still need to find my black shirt, though." 

_**FIN**_


End file.
